Thought Catalog

  1. Keep your sheets clean.
  2. Keep your socks cleaner.
  3. Keep your fingernails cleanest.
  4. Don’t call her crazy.
  5. She’s not crazy.
  6. Hold the door.
  7. Pay for her dinner.
  8. You’re not entitled to anything in life.
  9. Learn how to iron.
  10. Learn how to cook.
  11. You’re allowed to feel.
  12. Know your strengths.
  13. Know your weaknesses.
  14. Use them wisely.
  15. Your undershirts have a shelf life.
  16. It’s three months.
  17. You need to moisturize.
  18. Your friends don’t have to know about it.
  19. You don’t have to like Call of Duty.
  20. Cheetos aren’t a food group.
  21. That woman is photoshopped.
  22. But so is that man.
  23. Be kind to the nerdy girl.
  24. That was once your mother.
  25. Tailor the suit.
  26. Shine the shoes.
  27. Be gentle to the world.
  28. Clean your messes.
  29. Help clean others’ messes.
  30. Chaos is the order of the universe.
  31. Take a razor to it if it’s sparse.
  32. Take Occam’s razor to it if it’s hairy.
  33. Walk…

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